I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
