i would punch a child for taco bell
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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