the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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