he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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