the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
It's not a walk of shame if you run
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
