Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
i out mim tonsoeep
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
