My pussy is not your playground.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The power of my boobs compel you
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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