he thought i was a dude.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
3pm strippers are depressing
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
