no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
barbara walters just said penis...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
