nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
