im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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