Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
