I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
