So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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