Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
