Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
