I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
