my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
high people should be assigned attendants
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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