i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
