I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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