Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
