I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
