she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just had sex on a roof
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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