we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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