We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
