you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
