you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
