just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
