When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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