I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
