Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just want to make out with him forever
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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