i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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