For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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