Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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