So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
