so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
