Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Never let your siblings swipe right.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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