I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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