if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
