ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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