this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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