He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
