New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
