You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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