I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
