just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
