i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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