and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
