and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
