Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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